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3-090 (Raw)

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addressee author,male,Corbyn, Charles Adam,un
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Corbyn, 1854
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"Satire's my Weapon" - JUVENAL
The Cracked Crown
Chancey Pedro Scudder, Esq., landlord of the Three Crowns, on the top of Church Hill, and his lovely and amiable consort, were charged by a stalwart son of Erin, named Pat Hely, the former with "taking him in hoults " and the latter with cracking his crown, by hammering him on the head with a quart measure. Mister Hely being a gintilman who is rather fond of a drop of the crature, went as usual, on Friday last, to do pinance at the Triple Crown, by drinking a few tumblers of Irish whiskey - oh! but when the whiskey's in, the wit's out, says the old proverb, and Paddy Hely soon arrived at fighting point. He looked around for an object upon which he could display his fightable propensities, when a Mr. Cockburn made his entrance, and was at once floored by the pugnacious Pat. Mr. Scudder said that his house was not the Fives Court, and laid hold of Pat to restrain him, but Pat pushed and pulled in so determined a manner as to alarm Mrs. Scudder, who tried which was the hardest, Paddy's head or a quart pot. The head got the worst of the trial, as was evinced by the enormous masses of plaster with which it was studded. Another Pat, whose surname is Connor, was called to prove that Mister Hely had been almost murthered entirely quite, and that he was a paceable, illigant, harmless gintilman. Mr. Nichols appeared for Mr. and Mrs. Scudder, and called two witnesses to disprove the assault, and also to show that Pat Hely behaved more like a bull in a China shop than like an illigant gintilman. They failed to disprove the battery with the quart pot, as although inflicted by the delicate hands of Mrs. Scudder, between the hollowness and emptiness of the pot and Paddy's head, the sound might be heard at a considerable distance. The magistrates dismissed the case with regard to Mr. Scudder, but sentenced the fair landlady to pay five shillings (the value, we suppose, of Pat Hely's head) and half the costs, viz., two bob and a bender.
Ancient Pistol
A gentlemanly-looking elderly person, named William Christie, was charged by a Bardolpheian-shaped mass of humanity, named Patrick M'Grath, with threatening to shoot him, at the same time presenting a loaded pistol. Pat. M'Grath deposed: - I'm Postmaster general of Burwood, and dat ould gintilmin came to me, wild murther written in his countenansh. Ricolick, says he, dish pisthill's loaded, and by de tails of me coat I'll lodge de contints in yer big thick carcase.
Mr. Dowling: - Are you afraid of him, that he will do you some bodily harm?
Paddy M'Grath: - Is it afraid ye mane; shure an I'm in a mortial fear. Look at his countenansh; it's plain to percave the murderoush intinshins. [32] 
Mr. Dowling: - Do you bear him any malice?
Paddy M'Grath: - O! hone, me bear malice! Not at all, only the swatest of loving kindness and friendliness. I'm the paceablest crathur on the terrestial globe, but it's a murthering kind of gintilmin is Misther Christie!
Mr. Cory: - Have you got a savage dog?
Pat. M'Grath: - What! my dog savage! poor Faugh-a-ballagh savage! Shure and he's never bit nobody yet; the civilest crathur of the canine genius in this counthrey or any other.
The magistrates decided upon binding Mr. Christie to restrain his valiant propensities for three months, himself in £20 and two sureties in £10 each, or in default to be imprisoned until the Quarter Sessions. The sureties were at hand, and Mr. Christie was released.
A Jolly Marine
Sergeant Tim Oates, of the Royal Horse Marines, on board H.M.S. Calliope, stood at "eyes right" and "attention" in the witness-box, while a nymph of the pave with a pair of eyes like two burnt holes in a blanket, and a waist like a hogshead of porter, lounged with her chubby arms over the prisoner's dock, charged with making more free than welcome with the "Jolly's" pockets. Sergeant Tim Oates stood as erect in the box as if he had taken a breakfast of ramrods and ball cartridge, and told the mayor and Mr. Dowling that he came ashore to have a jolly good spree and to pay his devoirs at the shrines of Venus and Bacchus, when he met the female in the dock, who is known by the euphonious appellation of Lizzy MacCluskey. There was another "lady" or two with her, and also a couple of "coloured gentlemen" and Lizzy, who was so polite that he accepted her invitation to walk home and take tea with her in her house built in the Elizabethan style in Mr. Patrick Erwin's Alley. The bohea promised was very rum tea, for Lizzy suggested a quiet pint of pure pine-apple Jamaica amongst, which, as she remarked five, "couldn't 'urt a vorm," and she further proposed that Mr. Timotheus Oates should pay for the same. This was carried nem. con. and Lizzy received two shillings from him; procured the alcohol and poured him out a "ball." He had stood many a ball before in his alligator-like life, on sea and land, but the ball which Lizzy served him with, soon put him hors de combat. He shifted from Bacchus into the arms of Morpheus, and, although it was only about seven in the evening, he did not awake until three or four o'clock next morning, when he heard Lizzy and the "colored gemmen" singing "how do you like your taters done." He also made a discovery that he had not a shot in his locker, but had been lightened of 12 sovereigns, and £1 5s. in silver. Under such circumstances he besought the advice of constable Rawson, who hauled Lizzy off to the watchhouse; but the "other lady" and the coloured gentlemen had sloped. While Oates was going through the process of kissing the book, Miss Lizzy indulged in a strain of random oratory more expressive than polished. Sergeant Oates winced a little at this species of attack, and said he could not swear who stole his money. Miss Lizzy was once more set at liberty with a warning from the Mayor that the pitcher which comes often to the fountain gets broken at last. To this she replied quietly "It warn's a pitcher, please your Vusship, but a glass decanter."
Mary Ward, a pretty blonde, with rosy cheeks, ruby lips, light auburn hair, sparkling fawn-like eyes, pearly teeth, and alabaster forehead, dressed in an elegant and modest attire, appeared on the floor of the Court to answer the complaint of Ann Rudgeley, an old mulberry faced, grizlyhaired woman, with a cast in her eyes. The charge was, that Mary Ward did, on the 31st of last month, assault the aforesaid Ann Rudgeley. Mrs. Ann Rudgeley bit the book and swore - "She threw a cap at me." [33] Police Magistrate - "Was it a dead cat or a live cat?" Mrs. Rudgeley - "It was not a cat you goose you, it was a cap." Police Magistrate - "Was it a China cup or common crockery?" Mrs. Rudgeley - "Surely it was not a cup at all, it was a cap; don't you know what a cap is? Don't you wear a night cap?" Police Magistrate - "Oh! it was a cap, and she threw it at you? Did it hurt you?" Mrs. Rudgeley - "Och hone! Och hone! I'll never come here any more. No, I won't. She didn't throw a cap at me, man! She pulled a cap to pieces off my head." Mr. Nichols appeared for Mary Ward, and cross examined Mrs. Rudgeley, who admitted having called Miss Ward "a dictating hussey." Mrs. Rudgeley also grinned rather savagely at the learned gentleman, and called him "Oh you lawyer." For the prosecution two witnesses were called namely, Henry Miller and Nicodemus Dunn. Neither of them were able to impugn the fair defendant's character. For the defence Mr. Nichols called a gentleman named Devanny, and a young lady named Arabella Mills. The case was dismissed, and Miss Mary Ward walked out of Court with flying colours, arm in arm with her charming friend Miss Arabella Mills.
The Stop-Watch and The Ticker
Mr. Thomas Lynch keeps a grocery establishment at Homebush, within a few doors of the Homebush Inn, kept by Mr. W. Cutts. A young man, named William May, lived at the inn; and the scene opens in the bedroom of Mr. Lynch. It was past the midnight hour, and silence and darkness reigned conjointly, when Mrs. Lynch awoke, and said, "Tom, get over a little further, there's a duck; you've nearly pushed me out of bed. You've got all the clothes off me." Mrs. Lynch got up, lit a candle, put the bed-clothes to rights, looked at the watch suspended over their heads at the bed's head, saw it was twenty minutes to one o'clock, blew out the light, and jumped into bed again. It is necessary to inform the reader that besides the ticker from whose face Mrs. Lynch ascertained the time o'night, another patent lever, which had stopped, hung over the heads of the happy pair. Mr. and Mrs. Lynch were soon again in the arms of each other, and of Morpheus. But Mrs. Lynch dreamt a dream. She imagined in her vision that a stout man with a chubby face, and hair which curled like a pound of pork sausages, emerged from beneath the bed. With stealthy step he advanced towards her pillow. He stretched forth a sinewy arm, extended his fingers, and clutched the watches, guards, and all! He raised his other arm! Mrs. Lynch awoke and screamed. Her dream was true. Mr. Lynch also awoke, leaped out of bed, and in his night-dress pursued the midnight marauder, who seemed to know every nook and corner of the house and shop, as well as the proprietor. He first dodged Mr. Lynch round and round a sugar cask; then he hopped over the counter and back again, having the advantage of Mr. Lynch in being dressed and shod, whereas the worthy grocer was without shoes or stockings, and in his calico. The robber bolted into the passage, and into the kitchen, hotly pursued by the grocer, who had ample opportunity of seeing him by the light of a three-log fire. Here a "follow my leader" ensued among the pots and saucepans, when the robber again dashed through the passage, and the shop, slapping-to the door after him with such force as to entangle the grocer's calico, and detain him until the pursued had opened the front door and escaped with his booty. Mrs. Lynch remained in bed in excessive trepidation during the chase, which she animated by calling out "Murder! robbery! fire! rape!" Mr. Lynch mentioned the circumstance of the robbery to constable Harper, 5, but desired him to say nothing about it for a day or two, in the hope that the thief might endeavour to sell the watches, and thus afford a clue to their recovery. [34] He afterwards took out a warrant against the object of his suspicions, W. May, who was arrested. Lynch swore positively, malgré the cross-fire of Mr. Roberts, who attended for the defence, that May was the thief, and that he distinctly saw him by the light in the kitchen with the watches in his hand. Mr. Cutts, landlord of the Homebush Inn, was called. He said he had known the prisoner during the course of eleven years. He would not believe him capable of such an offence. He had often entrusted him with large sums of money, and he had never betrayed the confidence reposed in him. On the night of the robbery the prisoner was so drunk that he could not see a hole through a ladder. Witness put him to bed at eleven o'clock, and saw him there at seven on the following morning. Two or three men slept in the same room, and did not miss the prisoner. The Mayor said he had no alternative but to commit the prisoner for trial at the next Quarter Sessions; bail being allowed in £80 and two £40's.
Mary Hamilton, of Market-lane, spinster, charged John Jamison of the same place, shoemaker, with assaulting her by slapping her face and kicking her, on the 26th of last month. She complained of the system of persecution to which she was subjected by the defendant, who constantly taunted her with being "an old maid." Mr. Nichols appeared for the defendant. But it so happened that the maiden lady had two witnesses; they were females, and took such a length of time to arrange their bonnets, their curls, visites, &c., that they were not in court when called, whereas the bold shoemaker's witnesses were men, and were all ready. The defendant was fined in the mitigated penalty of 1s., and 6s. costs.
Storming An Eating-House
A brazen-faced, brawny-armed female named Mary Ann Smith, was brought up by Sergeant Swainston, charged with attacking and storming an eating-house in George-street, kept by one John Cawley. She had destroyed glass and crockery to the value of 9s. Mr. John Cawley, a dapper little fellow, unfolded a handkerchief and produced what appeared to be a quarter of a grindstone, which Mary Ann had sent in through his windows. He described the onslaught of Mary Ann, which threw Lord Exmouth's bombardment of Algiers completely into the shade. Mr. Gawley's better and bigger half, next entered the witness box, with a marvellous long boa entwined around her neck, whilst her nose evinced a great curiosity to look into her eyes. She also described the granitic attack of Mary Ann as more sublime than beautiful. During the recital the defendant was not idle, but rattled away with her only weapon, her tongue, at an amazing rate. She was sentenced to pay 9s., the value of the property destroyed, or to be imprisoned during fourteen days. She took the latter alternative.
An Englishman's House His Castle - The Case Reversed in Sydney
Bernard Devine, a decent looking citizen, residing in Clarence-street, was placed at the bar, charged with assaulting constable MacGeoghehan, 12 A. Mr. Gory appeared for the prosecution; the prisoner was undefended. 12 A deposed that, between four and five o'clock on Friday afternoon, he saw the prisoner in liquor, and ordered him to go home. The prisoner at once obeyed, and went into his house. When inside his own house, the prisoner insulted 12 A's dignity, by clapping his hand in the manner the military do when drawing a fresh cartridge from their cartouche-boxes. [35] 12 A got incensed, and rushed into the man's house, seized hold of him, and tried to drag him out. The prisoner resisted, and in the struggle obtained hold of a poker, with which he struck or slightly burnt 12 A in the palm of his hand. 12 A struck the prisoner also, and eventually succeeded in dragging him to a watchhouse, where he confined him. Mr. Gory urged that the prisoner was justly in custody before he entered his own house, but 12 A who is an honest fellow, although a novice in the police, denied Mr. Gory's allegation, and distinctly declared that he did not take the prisoner into custody, but ordered him to go into his house, an order with which the prisoner promptly complied. 12 A also said that when he was trying to drag the prisoner out of his house, the prisoner's dog attacked him, and tore his coat, an event which would lead to the belief that the faithful dog knew the law better than the constable, or than the magistrate, as they convicted the prisoner of the assault, and sentenced him to pay a fine of 5s. and 2s. 6d. costs, or in default to be imprisoned during two days.
A Family Quarrel
Catherine Ryan, a girl about sixteen years of age, was charged with assaulting an old man, named James Murray, who stated "that the girl was her mother's daughter, and he was her mother's husband." He added that on last Tuesday evening the girl called him all sorts of names, pelted him with stones, excited a mob to chase him into his house, in some lane off Parramatta street, and she then beat him with a coarse sweeping broom. [36] The girl expressed a wish to call her mother to prove her innocence, but the old man protested against such a proceeding, as he said her mother sided with the girl against him, and had helped to beat him. He told the Bench that he was determined to press the charge against the girl. The mother came forward (not on oath) and made a statement that it was she, and not the girl who had struck the old fellow. She said that her name had been Ryan until, to her grief, she had been beguiled to join "that old ragamuffin" (meaning her husband) in wedlock. He did not earn anything to maintain her, but lived upon the hard earnings of herself and daughter. The old man was sometime ago a bailiff, since when he has figured rather disgracefully for dishonest offences. The Bench fined the girl 1s. and 4s. 6d. costs.
A Young Jehu
Charles Madden, a boy about sixteen years of age, surrendered to his bail, charged with a breach of the Police Act, under the following circumstances: - Terence M'Mahon, of Newtown, labourer, stated that on the night of 16th instant, between nine and ten o'clock, he was passing along King-street. He attempted to cross the street. The young defendant was driving a cab as hard as it could rattle. Witness tried to get out of the way, but the youngster drove over him. The horses hoofs struck him on the face and head, and he became insensible. He was taken to the Infirmary, where he remained three days, and he had been since under the medical care of Dr. Rutter. In cross-examination Terence denied that he was drunk at the time; he had taken a glass or two but was able to toddle. No man was thoroughly drunk until he tried to light his pipe with a bucket of water. He denied that the boy gave him any warning whatever, or that he touched the horses.
The defendant exclaimed that Terence was quite drunk, and laid hold of the horses' heads, when the accident occurred. He had done all in his power to prevent any such accident, and hailed Terence three times to get out of the way. He then called Inspector Singleton, who deposed that he went to the spot where the accident occurred, and saw the old man Terence M'Mahon lying in the street, senseless and bleeding. One of the horses in the cab had also fallen down. Having put Terence into the cab, he drove him to the Infirmary, and afterwards drove the boy to the watch-house. He had seen the boy driving about five minutes before the accident. He was going at a moderate pace; in fact they were such a couple of miserable quadrupeds that they would hardly go at all except down hill when they could not help themselves. When he took charge of the reins he had a tough job to get the horses along, and they stopped several times ascending King-street to recover breath. He was inclined to blame the people who hired such a stripling to drive, as he was not sufficiently powerful to manage a pair of horses. As to Terence M'Mahon, he was drunk. The defendant then called as witness Samuel Jones, aged about sixteen, who deposed - "I was riding with Charley that night, and we were going a jig jogpace. The horses were as slender as parchment. They are regular jibs up a hill. I saw the old man Terence in the road. He was tacking about this way. (Here Samuel Jones went through the drunken gyrations of Terence.) We shouted to him to get out of the way, but he caught hold of the old mare's head, and she was so weak that she tumbled down. I cannot say which fell uppermost, the old mare or Terence." The Police Magistrate asked to see the defendant's master. A person named Mullaly came forward, and explained that the boy was as capable of driving a carriage as any man in Sydney. In fact he had been brought up among horses. The defendant was then discharged from custody. [37]
William Dunn and William Ryan were placed at the bar by constable Rowe, who had apprehended them on a charge of stealing two gold rings off the fingers of Margaret Clark, in a public-house in Clarence-street, on the previous evening. The prisoners were defended by Mr. Parry Long. A pugnosed, rosy-checked, humptydumpty looking woman, with a bonnet trimmed with artificial cauliflowers, staggered half drunk into the witness-box, and gave vent to the following original oratory: - "I'm as honest a murned woman as ever the sky grew over, and sure its in Sussex-street I was. Well, Mr. Clarke, that's my husband, the big blackguard, goes out to get a ball; I in course goes to fetch him home. As soon as I goes into the public-house, Dunn axes how I did, and caught hold of my hand and squeezed it, so he did, and then passes my hand to the other gossoon. 'It's mighty free yer making,' says I, and with that I looked,, and sure enough my rings were gone." Mr. P. Long: "How many persons were in the public-house at the time?" Mrs. C.: "I didn't count them." Mr. Long: "Were you drunk at the time?" Mrs. C.: "Is it me you mane?" Mr. Long: "Are you drunk now?" Mrs. C. - "Is it me? Sure I've only had one glass before breakfast, and that wasn't a full one, for they gave me bad measure." Mayor: "The prisoners are remanded until Monday. The woman is too drunk to be able to give evidence; take her over to the watch-house for contempt of Court." Mrs. C. (dragged out by the police): "Is it me you mane?"
Illegally On Premises
About four a.m., yesterday morning, a Mrs. Cherry, whose where-abouts did not transpire, discovered a drunken fellow called Patrick Long, on her premises. She screeched out the usual cries, of "thieves, fire, murder, police," &c. when Constable Samuel Long, B 9, run to the spot, and quickly collared Paddy Long, who was almost too drunk to go along. In the due course of time Paddy Long was brought before the Bench by Samuel Long, but Mrs. Cherry having stopped at home too long, Paddy Long was cautioned by the Bench and ordered to go along.
Buckley And Wife
John Buckley was charged by his wife with turning her and her three children out of the house, neck and crop, and refusing to maintain them. She said her husband was a plasterer, but he "mixed it too much;" he was constantly drunk, and would not give her the price of a loaf of bread; he lived upon ale and tobacco; he could earn nine or ten shillings a day, but he was too fond of drink to stick to his mortar and plaster; moreover, he often ill-used her. He turned her out of doors on Valentine's day. Defendant: "I'll take the pledge." Wife: "What's the use of that; you've broken the pledge four times already!" Defendant: "You are welcome to come home to my house, and I'll be good to you." Wife: "Your house! I never knew you had a house." Defendant: "I'll do anything to please her, your worships, if you will let me go; I'll get her a new house." The Bench postponed the case until the 2nd of April to enable the Buckley family to adjust their differences.
Robbing A Lodging-House
A plump, good-looking female, gaudily attired, called Sarah Dennison alias M'Leod, was placed at the bar charged with stealing £8, and a silver watch and jewellery worth £12, the property of Mrs. Brown keeper of a lodging-house, coffee, oyster shop, &c., in Market-street. Mrs. Brown stated that the prisoner and her husband had lodged at her premises about two persons; they paid her £2 a week for their board and lodging. [38] A short time ago the prisoner and her husband quarrelled, and the husband went to the diggings, leaving his wife in very straitened circumstances. She expressed an intention of going into service, but witness said she would find her plenty to do if she liked to stay with her, and she would also keep her in pocket money. On Sunday before last the prisoner suddenly decamped, and the money, &c. was missed. Inspector Singleton apprehended the woman at a late hour on Saturday night. None of the missing property was found upon her. She denied the charge and cried during the examination. Mr. Roberts defended the prisoner, who was committed for trial at the Quarter Sessions.
Extraordinary Charge Of Theft
A pretty little fashionably dressed young female, apparently just arrived at sweet seventeen, was charged with stealing three gold rings from the dwelling of Mrs. Elizabeth Wilkinson, milliner, of Goulburnstreet. Mr. Cory appeared for the defendant. Mrs. Wilkinson stated that the defendant's proper name was Mrs. Plomer; her husband had a station on the Clarence River; he was nephew to the Duke of Argyll, and had gone to the mother country to receive a fortune which had just fallen to him. The defendant was taken by Mrs. Wilkinson as an apprentice to the millinery business. She had an allowance of £5 per week. When she left Mrs. Wilkinson, she owed that lady a debt of£5, and gave her charge of the three gold rings and locket, to detain them until she should pay the £5. On Thursday, the defendant called upon Mrs. Wilkinson, and made her a payment of £1. The locket was then restored to her, but soon after her departure Mrs. Wilkinson missed the rings. She hastened to the house occupied by the fair defendant, who hastened to the door, opened it, and welcomed her in, but when taxed with dishonesty, she threatened to "lag" Mrs. W., while a gentleman in the house, acted the preux chevalier on the occasion, and administered a kick which sent her out of doors. Smarting under the indignity, she was rejoiced to see Inspector Higgins passing by, and gave Mrs. Plomer into his custody. She at once produced the rings, and delivered them to the Inspector. Mr. Gory urged that the defendant had only taken her own property, which was not an indictable offence, and Mrs. Wilkinson's proper remedy would have been an action of trover. The Bench concurred with Mr. Cory, and discharged the fair defendant from custody.
The Weird Sisters
Catherine Kelly, charged by Inspector Singleton with being constantly drunk and disorderly, was sent to gaol for three months. Margaret Lynch, another veteran female toper was brought up by Constable Rowe. The Mayor sentenced her to be confined for a month. "That's better than nothing," she replied. Eliza Norris, another old woman, was brought up by Constable Ellis, A 7, who stated - "I found her in bed at one o'clock on Sunday morning. She has no place of restiveness, and is often here under the Bagabone Act. She generally sleeps at the Market Wharf, and she was snoozing there when I broke upon her slumbers, and hauled her off to durings wile." The Mayor said he would find a better bed for a month, and wrote out her mittimus to the Darlinghurst dormitory.
A Lover of Literature
An intelligent looking respectable young man, named William Cooke, was placed at the bar of the prisoner's dock, by Constable Lucas, who stated that the defendant was in the habit of sitting, day after day, in a secluded part of the Government Domain, reading books and newspapers. The constable took it into his pate that the defendant intended to destroy himself, and, therefore, put him in the watch-house. [39] The Police Magistrate said that he had seen the defendant in his favourite seat in the Domain for the last year and a-half, and knew him to be perfectly harmless - indeed, numbers of children seemed to take peculiar pleasure in playing about him, and he never molested them, although on one occasion he had been robbed by a little boy. Cooke was then discharged from custody.
Diabolical Outrage
On Monday night some execrable miscreant, bent on mischief, perpetrated an outrage of unprecedented horror in the annals of crime, by causing a nasty dead diseased bullock, horns and all, to be deposited opposite the domicile of Mr. Stubbs, the Inspector of Nuisances. The venerable Inspector was awakened from a dreamy morning nap by the disagreeable smell, and supposed, at first, that he was prosecuting some hapless proprietor of a dead ox in the precincts of the Police Office, but judge his surprise! - his inexpressible horror and disgust! - a big cockhorned brute lay inanimate before his door. Mr. Stubbs has offered a reward of £1 for the apprehension of the diabolical miscreant.
About half-past twelve o'clock yesterday, such a tumultuous clatter was made in the Police Court, as is not every day to be heard or witnessed. On the Bench sat Mr. Chambers, taking the information of some man; near him stood P. Grant, Esq., taking the oath of another. In front sat the deposition clerk calling to the Chief Inspector. Next to him stood Inspector Higgins shouting at the top of his voice for Mary Ann Robinson. Carrot, the summoning constable, at the same time vociferated "Larkins against Dundle." Mr. Cory, Solicitor, was reading aloud the 8th section of the Police Act, while Mr. Parry Long was endeavouring to restrain the passionate exclamations of a female client. The heavy tread of divers policemen moving to and fro, and the hum of the spectators added to the scene, which was crowned by some itinerant fruiterer outside the door, bawling "Here's your peaches! Two-pence a dozen!"
The Head of The Family
Robert Tindal, of Pitt-street, a hen-pecked old man, was charged before Messrs. Dowling, Atkins, and Murnin, with using threatening language to his daughter. Miss Mary Anne Tindal, a good-looking girl of eighteen, stated that on the 12th instant her papa threatened to knock her down if she followed him: she believed him to be of unsound mind.
Old Man: - The girl and her mother want to make out that I'm crankey, but I'm as sound as a drum.
Dr. Rutter stated that he had conversed with and examined Tindal, and had discovered no symptoms of insanity.
Mrs. Tindal then displayed her prominent proboscis and vari-coloured headgear in the witness-box. She said if old Bob was not actually crankey, he had at least "lost a shingle." Still, she had no objection to give him another trial and take him home with her, on condition that he consented to quit the house then occupied by the family, and go to another house, which (said Mrs. Tindal) "I have in my eye." Robert was then discharged, and lugged off by his affectionate wife and daughter.
A Comical Case of Desertion
Stephen Timmins appeared to answer the complaint of Ann, his wife, for deserting her and their two infant children, about a fortnight since. It appeared from the evidence that one night the defendant came home drunk, and, having fallen down on the floor, he sunk into a profound slumber. Ann went and got a horse and dray, clapped all the furniture, bedding, &c., on the dray, and took the road to her sister's residence, at Ultimo. She actually stripped the house of every portable article, and, taking advantage of her husband's drunken lethargy, she pulled off his coat and shirt, and took them with the rest of the property. [40] When the unfortunate fellow came to himself, he found that he had been deprived of wife, children, and all his goods and chattels, at one fell swoop "There," concluded Timmins, "your Worships can call that desertion, if you like; but, in my opinion, it seems that she deserted me." The Bench adjourned the case for seven days, to enable the parties to effect a reconciliation.
Mary Ann Murphy, as neat a little specimen of the feminine gender as ever scratched a face or flung a quart bottle, danced the drum polka on the floor of the Court, to show why and wherefore she gave Mrs. Mary Wilson a black eye, by throwing a tumbler at her. Both ladies reside in that most warlike part of the city called Cumberland-street. Mr. Roberts appeared for the complainant. The defendant spoke as follows: - "I've Mr. Nickells as isn't here. She drinks; she must have tumbled down, and trod on her eye. I didn't do it." The defendant was sentenced to pay a fine of £1, and 4s. 6d. costs, or be imprisoned during seven days. She paid the fine.
Robbing A Sailor
Edward Lappage, who described himself as a man of war's man, charged a female pirate, named Jane Johnson, with boarding him while becalmed in Rum-and-water bay on Tuesday night, and plundering him of specie to the amount of two sovereigns. Jack still seemed to stagger from the effects of the action, and spun but an indifferent yarn, his log book having gone overboard during the engagement. Mr. G. R. Nichols appeared as "tender" to Jane, who sailed out of Court with flying colours.
Husband and Wife
Thomas Saddler, a tailor, was charged by Dennis Doolan, 15A, with threatening to knock his wife's brains out with his lapboard. The wife also said that she believed him insane; he drank "three half-pints" daily; he slept with his shears under his pillow, and often threatened to run them through her. She was in fear of her life. The unhappy tailor was ordered to find sureties for his good behaviour for six months, himself in £20, and two sureties in £10 each, or to be imprisoned until next Quarter Sessions.
One of The Swell Mob
A showily dressed young man named John Howard, was brought up by Inspector Higgins, charged in the first instance with having absconded from his bail, and secondly with being concerned in robbing the landlord of the Pelican Inn, on the South Head Road, on the 3rd of last November. Mr. Nichols appeared for the prisoner. According to the evidence it appears that in the early part of October last, the prisoner was apprehended for fraud; on the 4th of that month, Howard and some other men entrapped a country gentleman named Harper into the Glasgow Hotel, Pitt-street, and defrauded him of about £60, by inducing him to join in placing large sums of money in a hat, and another person supposed to be an accomplice of Howard, called to a coin. Harper was victimised to the tune of £60; he obtained a warrant against Howard, who was fully committed for trial at the Central Criminal Court, but allowed bail; himself in £80 and two sureties in £40 each. He kept out of the way when the Session came on, and his recognisances were ordered to be estreated. [41] On Wednesday, 3rd November, while on bail, the prisoner Howard was seen by Constable Lawless with a well-dressed man named Terrett to enter Mrs. Aylward's, the Pelican Inn, It so happened that Mrs. Aylward served Terrett and his companion with some drink in a back parlour; she afterwards went up stairs to get some money from her bedroom, when Terrett rushed from under the bed, struck her a severe blow, rushed down stairs and out of the house, and after a severe struggle he was over-powered and captured by two men named Osborne and Baker in the Sheriff's gardens. Terrett's companion escaped. Terrett was sent for trial at the Central Criminal Court: he was convicted, and sent to Cockatoo Island for five years. On Sunday last Inspector Higgins apprehended Howard at a house in his occupation on the South Head-road. With regard to the charge of absconding from his bail, he was ordered to be sent to prison on the original warrant. With regard to the charge with being concerned in the robbery of Mr. Aylward's, constable Lawless swore that Howard was the man who, on the day of the robbery, entered the Pelican Inn with Terrett. Mr. Aylward thought he resembled the person, but could not swear to him, neither could Baker or Osborne. Howard was committed for trial at the Quarter Sessions.
Furious Riding - George-Street Races
On Friday afternoon, Mr. Stubbs, Inspector of Nuisances, &c., saw a blue-frocked gent, top heavy with liquor, galloping at a racing pace along George-street. One man who was crossing the street had a very narrow escape of being ridden down by the fellow. Mr. Stubbs was not mounted upon his ancient Rozinante, but upon an animal of good blood and mettle, and the venerable but chivalrous old officer set spurs to his horse and pursued the man, who stopped and dismounted at the Royal Hotel. The man gave his name as George Pattenden, and appeared at the Police Court yesterday, to all appearance as drunk as ever. He told the magistrates he was one of the best riders in the world, and if they doubted it, he would break in a horse for either of them. He had only been three weeks in the colony, and thought it very hard to be pounced upon in such a manner. In fact he considered it was a gross shame to impose upon people, and such a thing would cause a riot in England. The Mayor told him that he must look out for the laws here. The defendant replied: "Yes, and it seems I must look out for the people too. I am too good a rider to hurt anybody; and I never hurt anybody in my life." Mr. Nichols appeared for the prosecution, and appealed to the Bench to inflict the highest penalty upon the defendant. The Bench inflicted the lowest penalty, viz.: 40s. and 13s. costs. The defendant was evidently thought a great deal of, and well respected, malgre his humble attire, for bank notes were extended and proffered to him in all directions to pay the fine.
The Rival Nancys
"Call Ann Cox against Ann Callaghan," bawled the Chief Inspector, in a voice which would have done credit even to bluff King Harry the Eighth. Obedient to the mandate, a little squinting, cock-nosed female, arrayed in her best, answered to the name of Ann Callaghan, and made her debut on the floor of the Court. A visible movement took place at the same time among the crowd of loungers who patronise the witness's seats, as a female Daniel Lambert, with a platter face and pug nose, forced her way with her dumpling fists through the throng to the witness box, and announced herself as Ann Cox. The parties are residents in Castlereagh-street, and near neighbours; but unhappily one individual of the masculine gender wormed himself into the tender affections of the two Nancys. On Saturday evening, Ann Cox's feelings approaching to a climax, she invaded the back yard of her neighbour, Ann Callaghan, armed with a broomstick. [42] The defendant flew to where a number of empty bottles were deposited, and she threw some of them with such excellent aim, that she nearly put her neighbour's nose and face on one broad level. One Edward Dempsey was called for Ann Cox, but he proved nothing. For the defendant, a female friend named Eliza Johnson was called, and she so admirably supported the cause of Ann Callaghan, that that amiable female won the day, and having thanked the Bench, especially Patrick Grant, Esq., she walked out of Court, and once more put up her parasol in liberty, sweet liberty!
An Injured Publican
A masculine-looking woman, named Catherine M'Carthy, was charged with marching into a public-house at the corner of King and Clarence-streets, kept by J. J. Ralph, and wantonly demolished four panes of glass and two bottles of lemonade, of the value of four shillings. Kate's defence was of the "veni, vidi, vici," order - to wit, "I was drunk." She promised to make amends to Mr. Ralph for the damage done, and she was released upon bail to settle the matter. George Friday, a tall black-looking man in a white shirt, and a red neckerchief, was then charged by Mr. J. J. Ralph with assaulting him. Mr. Ralph deposed that the defendant came into his public-house, and accused him of assaulting Mrs. Friday; the defendant then struck him in the face. Mr. Ralph admitted that he had assaulted the defendant's rib, and turned her out of the house. There was also some unintelligible affair concerning a shawl and a bonnet. He did not know at the time he turned the woman out that she was Friday's wife, and he had never enjoyed the felicity of seeing Mr. Friday before. The defendant was sentenced to pay. a fine of 20s. and 4s. 6d. costs, and in default to be imprisoned for seven days, which made him mutter something about its being a very black Saturday.
Ann Callaghan, an apoplectic looking female of middle stature, but extraordinary breadth of beam, appeared before Mr. Dowling, to answer the complaint of Margaret O'Brien, for assaulting her on the previous Monday evening. Margaret was a rather formidable looking dame, with fair hair and florid complexion, bearing a strong resemblance to the military gentleman who beats the big drum of the XIth's band. Mr. Cory was retained by the dumpling Callaghan, and having twirled his whiskers, he opened the campaign by ordering all witnesses out of Court. [43]
Mrs. O'Brien then produced from beneath her shawl a fragment of stone in use among the masons at work in Barrack-lane. "On Monday night," quoth Mrs. O'Brien, "my blessed husband went to St. Pathrick's, a'cos 'tis a taytotaler he is. I sends my darter arter a pound and a-half of pork sasingers jist to have reddy 'gainst he cumed home, for that taytolling work allers makes him mortal hungry; when that baste of a woman as his huffing and blowing afore the Court, hits my darter, who screeches, and out I runs. I axked her in purlitest terms the raison of her wiolence, when she ups with this sthone, runs arter me, and just as I gets into my own door, she sends it arter me. If it had only hit me, I should not have been here to tell the tale,"
Mr. Cory: - Was there anybody present? Mrs. O'Brien: - Was there anybody present?
Mr. Cory: - Have you got any witness? Mrs. O'Brien: - Have I got any witness? Mr. Cory: - Now, Marm, I ask you again, have you got any witness, and what's her name?
Mrs. O'Brien: - She's a famale, and her name is Lizzibith.
Mr. Cory: - Is she a little girl?
Mrs. O'Brien: - No shure, but a middling aged girl.
Elizabeth M'Gregor, a pretty girl about seventeen, with her bonnet trimmed with an astounding quantity of pink ribbons, was called on behalf of Mrs. O'Brien, and stated that the podgy female opposite threw a stone which took effect on Mrs. O'Brien's leg.
Mr. Cory: - What did Mrs. O'Brien throw?
Elizabeth: - Oh! nothink; Mrs. O'Brien was very good, considering: she only made one row that evening by calling Mrs. Callaghan anythink cept an honest woman.
Mr. Cory having announced that he had three ladies on his side to prove his client's innocence, called Miss Mary Anne Walsh, a middling aged spinster, whose brown complexion was admirably relieved by the white linings of her bonnet. She also was adorned with a large quantity of pink ribbons, pink appearing to be the chosen colour among the fighting females of Sydney. "I seed," quoth Mary Anne, "all the row on Monday evening. Mrs. O'Brien came to Mrs. Callaghan's, who told her as how she wasn't wanted, and she chucked a big stone at Mrs. Callaghan houldin the blessed babbie in her arms at the time, and Mrs. Callaghan never flung anythink at all, but only says she, 'murther! I'm kilt!'"
Mrs. O'Brien: - Hevings forgive you, Mary Han, for telling sich a whopper; yer an hinnercent gal, Mary Han, and expects to be married; Hevings forgive you!
Mary Anne: - Hevings forgive you!
Hereupon Mary Anne and Mrs. O'Brien leaned over to one another, speaking both at once in that hostile manner which usually precedes a resort to fisticuffs; and the Police Magistrate, unwilling to have the Police office arena the ring for the adjustment of the grievance, dismissed the case, and Mrs. O'Brien was by the aid of Sergeant Mat Carroll ushered out of Court.
Stealing A Watch
William Mansfield alias Connor alias M'Govern was charged with stealing a watch, of the value of eight guineas, the property of Mrs. Frederica Niecker, a German lady. Mr. Brenan conducted the prosecution, Mr. Roberts the defence. It appeared, from the evidence, that the prisoner was a waiter in Mr. Govers's lodging-house, in Bligh-street. The prosecutrix, another German lady named Biere, and a gentleman named Hirsch, lodged there. Mrs. Niecker kept her watch suspended against the wall in her room, which was on the ground floor under the verandah. On Wednesday evening the prisoner went into the lady's room and looked at the watch, inquiring if it was gold. [44]
On the following evening about dusk he noticed the ladies lighting a candle, and invited them to go and sit in the general dining-room, saying that it was lighted up. The ladies did so, and in the course of an hour Mrs. Niecker returned to her room and missed her watch. The prisoner was sitting under the verandah, and as the gate was fastened he was suspected, because it was said that no stranger could have got in. There were some other suspicious circumstances against the prisoner, who protested his innocence and was very ably defended by his advocate. Mr. Govers said he had been acquainted with the prisoner during the last 20 years, and believed him to be an honest man. He had known him as Connor, but had lately discovered that he was called Mansfield, and the prisoner had shewn him a discharge in the name of M'Govern. Mr. Hirsch gave evidence against the prisoner, and among other facts said that when he was going to fetch the police the prisoner desired to accompany him. He wished to find Inspector Singleton, and the prisoner proposed to go in one direction while Mr. Hirsch went in another. Although Mr. Hirsch was a long time before he found Inspector Singleton and returned to Mr Govers's, yet the prisoner did not come back until some time after. The prisoner was committed for trial at the Quarter Sessions. In the afternoon a man came into the court and delivered to the Police Magistrate the gold watch, which had been left in his wife's care by the prisoner Mansfield. The Police Magistrate at once sent it to Mrs. Niecker.
A Comical Decision
Robert Hanslow, a smart looking boy, between eleven and twelve years of age, was charged by F. W. Meymott, Esq., barrister-at-law, with absconding from his service. Mr. Meymott said, that he had engaged the boy as a general servant, for the period of three years with consent of his father. He sent the boy to school half of each day, excepting during the holidays, allowed him to get anything he liked to eat, and gave him a shilling or two whenever his conduct was good. The boy made a statement that Mr. Meymott sometimes beat him. Mr. Meymott admitted, that when the boy was naughty he did chastise him, in the same way as a father would chastise a refractory child. The boy's father stepped into the witness box, and denied in toto that the boy was hired to the complainant, he had lent him to that gentleman, but for no stipulated time, and he was unwilling for him to remain with Mr. Meymott any longer. Mr. Chambers seemed sorely puzzled, but recovering from his perplexity, he interrogated Mr. Hanslow, as to the manner in which he obtained his living. The gentlemen of the Press instantly nibbed their pens or sharpened up their pencils, expecting that Hanslow senior, had fallen under the ban of the Vagrant Act, but Mr. Hanslow plunged Mr. Chambers into a fresh labyrinth, by declaring that he was a retired butcher who lived upon his rents. Mr. Chambers having received a hint from one of the senior Police Officers, then asked Hanslow the elder, if he had not been in gaol. He replied in the affirmative. Mr. Chambers then told the boy to go back to Mr. Meymott, who he said, would probably prove a better father and friend than his natural one. If he did not comply with the order, he would be sent to gaol. Mr. Chambers next addressed himself to Hanslow senior, and threatened him, that if the boy returned to the paternal domicile instead of to the house and service of Mr. Meymott, he would deal with him, Hanslow senior, for enticing his son away.
Henry Charles Rignell was charged by Mary Dick with assaulting her on the 18th instant. Mr. Cory conducted the prosecution. Mrs. Dick stated that she let some premises to the defendant, and while he was in gaol suffered his wife to remain in the premises at the rental of four shillings per week. [45] The defendant owed her £2 16s., and as she experienced some difficulty in obtaining a liquidation of her claim, she paid him a visit, accompanied by Israel Chapman, bailiff, whom she politely introduced to him. Chapman was so struck with the elegance of the furniture, that he pulled out his pencil and paper and began writing it down. H. C. Rignell, was so unmindful of the honour conferred upon him, that he upset Chapman and tore the kiver off his Sunday hat. He next commenced hostilities against Mrs. Dick and "he hit her here, and there, and everywhere." He also tore her gown. The defendant denied the charge, and the debt. He declared that while he was "out of town" his wife pulled the rings off her fingers and gave them to Mrs. Dick as payment for the rent. Mrs. Dick did not deny having the rings; in fact she had them on at the moment in the witness box, but said they had been given her as presents by the defendant's wife. The defendant was fined 5s., and 4s. 6d. costs.
The Laws of The Medes and Persians
Ann Keast appeared against Mr. Alfred Toogood: this was the third and last time of asking. A few weeks ago Mr. Alfred Toogood returned to Sydney, of which famous city he had formerly been a resident. Among the other items of property which he brought to Sydney was a female servant, yclept, Ann Keast. Mr. Toogood hired the spinster at £8 per annum for two years, and he also paid £25 for her passage money. When Ann arrived in Sydney she soon found out that she had a wealthy aunt, one Mrs. Bluck, of Clarence-street, and at the same time she made another important discovery, to wit - that female servants in Australia are mississes, and that £8 per annum would not keep a Sydney female servant in visites and parasols. Ann was consequently very eager to bid Mr. Toogood "good morning," but Toogood did not relish the idea of losing £25 by paying the passage of an utter stranger. The parties have, therefore, on two occasions been before the Police Magistrate. In the first instance Mr. Toogood charged Ann with absenting from service, and her aunt with harbouring her, but the charge or charges fell to the ground. In the second instance Ann charged Mr. Toogood with assaulting her "by trying to shove her down stairs, only she clung to the bannisters." Mr. Toogood expressed his willingness to release her from her engagement if she would pledge herself to refund part of the amount of her passage money. To effect such an arrangement the Police Magistrate postponed giving any decision in the case until Monday (yesterday). The case was, however, called on when Mr. Chambers was upon the bench, as the moment of that gentleman's advent was the moment of the Police Magistrate's exit. Mr. Roberts was engaged for Ann Keast; Messrs. Nichols and Cory for Mr. Toogood. The learned gentlemen explained to Mr. Chambers that the case had been initiated before the Police Magistrate - ergo, it had been commenced. Mr. Chambers was of a contrary opinion, observing that initiation did not mean beginning, and dismissed the case.
Master and Servant
Cha Sin, a Chinaman, was charged by his master, Mr. Raper, of George-street, butcher, with neglect of work. Mr. Raper said that Cha Sin had been fighting with some other of his servants, and had since taken to bed. He seemed to like that sort of remedy so well that it was next to impossible to get him from among the blankets. Cha Sin was sent to take a week's nap in Darlinghurst. John Smith was charged by Mr. Borton, of the Cricketer's Hotel, with being absent from service without leave since the 12th instant. He was sent to cultivate the acquaintance of Cha Sin, in Darlinghurst. [46]
A Destitute Child
A little flaxen haired boy, called Edward Gray, was brought up by Inspector M'Cook who found him lying asleep, between two and three o'clock yesterday morning, in George-street. The child said his father was in London, and his mother had lately died in the Benevolent Asylum. The Mayor told the officer to take the child to Mr. Dowling, and he would probably obtain his admittance into the Asylum for Destitute Children. Mr. Dowling sent him to the Benevolent Asylum.
Fire and Water
Two elderly females of remarkably warlike aspects, confronted each other. Mary Dent was the accuser, and Margaret Waller the accused. It appeared that Margaret's hair was similar in colour and coarseness to the hair of a shaggy French dog, from whose coat Mary Dent cut a lock, and then held it up, pointing out the resemblance between the canine hair and Margaret's. The latter got into a passion, especially as it was on a Sunday evening, and she opened fire at Mary's windows, sending brickbats and other missiles into her house. Mary endeavoured to repel the assailant, by pouring on her a copious shower of water. Margaret Waller was fined 5s. and 4s. 6d. costs.