1-045 (Original)

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Paramatta
October 26th 1795.
Dear Madam,
I received your kind present of the Candles and embrace this opportunity to thank you for them. I wrote to Mr. Stokes since Governor Hunter arrived to inform him that the Cows which were lost seven years ago are now found, and am not certain whether I gave you a line or not at the same time. Governor Hunter's arrival hath given Mr. Johnson and myself peculiar satisfaction. We have some hopes that the wicked will not triumph so much as what they have done heretofore, though I do not yet expect to see any great Reformation.
The enemy hath so complety possessed himself in the minds of all ranks and orders here, that it is a matter of doubt with me that His Power will be ever seen in this place to fall like Lightning from Heaven. I wish the unfortunate Convicts were the greatest enemies to the Cross of Christ we had to encounter. Satan hath his Agents everywhere, and generally some persons of influence and authority in the world. To do my Duty here as a Minister is extremely hard and burdensome. When I compare what I do with what I think I ought to do the whole of my work seems daily neglected. I am ashamed & confounded before God for all my shortcomings. A Physician bath no business when all the inhabitants around him are whole. This is exactly my case. I do not know one person that wants the great physician of Souls. I often wonder how some of your great preachers (your Newtons and Fosters in London) men of sound piety and real godliness would feel if they had to preach for six months, and knew that they had not for that space of time two persons to preach to who ever made the enquiry "Where is God my Maker" or had the smallest concern for their souls. I should like to know what effect this supposed situation would have upon their great minds, though I believe they could not tell me. I know this situation hath produced a very odd and I may add a very unpleasant effect upon mine. [13] 
My religious feelings are very different from what they once were. I am often lead to doubt that I was wrong in England and much more so now. The Lord search and try my heart and make me sincere and unblameable before him in Love.
Government hath not provided me any place to perform public worship in yet neither do I know when they will. I am going to preach at the Hawkesbury settlement on Sunday next, twenty miles distant from home, and I know no more where I shall sleep or perform divine Service than you to whom I am writing. And what is much more trying I expect the people will absent themselves, as soon as they know I am coming. These things render a ministers duty painful and difficult.
With regard to temporals our situation is much better than would be expected. Articles of comfort are often very dear, but we are seldom without them. I paid a guinea a pound for the last Tea I bought here, and three pounds a dozen for red and white wine. When I was at Norfolk Island about four months ago Tea sold there for 27 / - per lb. and Tobacco 10 / - Candles 3 / - Spirits £1 / 5 / - per Gallon, and all other articles which would be procured from the ship that was there were equally extravagantly dear. Though this is the case we have no cause to complain of our outward comforts taking them all together. If everything was equally as agreeable we should be well situated. I have great reason to be thankful that I am happy in my own family; I believe few more so. As you are married I may mention this to you without risk of being laughed at. Did you know what sad feelings I sustained on account of Mrs. M. in my late voyage from Norfolk Island, for nearly a fortnight together when every day and night too I expected to be buried in the Great Deep, you would not have dropped that kind hint in Mr. Johnsons letter "Tell Mr. M to be kind to Mrs. Marsden." Your admonition is highly gratifying to me, as it only enjoyns a repetition of what I take pleasure in. I should have been wretched and miserable here without a wife, now I am happy and comfortable.
Our little daughter (whom probably you may have heard of) grows a fine girl and affords a little amusement for Mrs. Marsden. [14] Mrs. M. unites with me in every Christian respect to you and your family.
I am Dear Madam
Yours &c &c
SAMUEL MARSDEN.
In haste. Late in the evening. Excuse mistakes.
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